MY Depression

Why is it that everyone says they care about people with depression then disappear when a depressed person would like some company, to talk, or friendship? Why does it seem that no one cares if your in a deep dark place that makes you think a black hole would be brighter? Why is it when you ask for help people say they’ll pray for you then give money to help a dog or cat, when I have something that will kill me? Am I less then a dog or cat? How do you think that makes me feel? My own mother hates me, she’s tried to control me my whole life, never letting me speak for myself. And when I’d try the threats would come. When bullied an my life threatened she slapped me in the face and I quote “You’re ruining my life!” She apparently hated my father now she’s blessed that honor to me when I was in the hospital with blood clots in my lungs I wasn’t worth the time to visit. How do you think that makes me feel? I have a lack of friends, oh sure I have 301 friends on facebook but do they really know me? I really haven’t had a real friend in years I’m isolated and lonely. And when I reach out people seem to push me away, they don’t want to bother. Sometimes I wonder why bother going on.

David S Flythe

Journal Entry - September 12, 2012

I feel its time not for an update but a rant, since I got out of the hospital June 4th I have tried and tried to get help, support, and some level of human kindness from others. I can not even get that from my mother who when I was afraid to go to school due to bulling slapped me in the face and said quote “You are ruining my life!” I have had more problems then I like to admit physical and mental, and when I finally reach out for help I get sorry can’t help you. I try for years to stand on my own feet, payed the stupid government taxes and when I need the help I’m not eligible. Then private individuals ignore my pleas for help. Except one person who gave me $25, just one person in three months I can not truly express my gratitude to that person.

At this point if something doesn’t change for the better I expect things to quickly go downhill for me.

http://igg.me/p/214841?a=793953

David Flythe
Augusta Ga
9/12/2012

Journal Entry - September 10, 2012

So today I managed to write two articles in less then twenty-four hours and I'm in a good mood despite still having a hard time getting help for my situation.

I also wanted to share the funniest commercials I've seen in a while, staring James Carville and Mary Matalin, oh the laughs.



and



David

Journal Entry - September 8, 2012

I was going to post this yesterday but too many things got in the way, so It go's today.

First if anyone has read any of my previous posts, I’ve been through a lot from bulling in school, my own mother’s reaction to my fear of going to school due to the bulling, and now the hard time to get help for my current situation. I have good days and bad, I’ve avoided looking at some of the spots where I have been trying to raise help and funds. Anyway to what I want to post for Friday.

So yesterday I went on grocery shopping trips to both Kroger & Bi-Lo, picking up a few good deals. One of the ones from Bi-Lo was a buy one get one free on Kahiki brand of Chinese meals and if you haven’t tried this brand yet you should of the frozen & home meals I’ve tried theirs is the best, just as good as the corner Chinese restaurant. (By the way if you think this is an advertisement its not, I am not getting payed for this, but I wished I was.) Also the best sweet and sour sauce is La Choy’s. Check out their pages for more on their products.

That’s it for today.

David.

Well I Tried to be Optmistic :(

It seems every day I try to be optimistic, but then something dumps me in a pit like atheists getting $11,000+ in donations and gays getting thousands for fertility treatments, but the person with a blood clot in his leg can't get one red cent to help cover his medical bills and treatments for something that WILL KILL HIM!!!!!

What the hell is wrong with this world? Should I just take a gun and shoot my self to end the pain? I try and try and try and try. And it seems I keep getting kick down to the ground again and again, I don't even know why I bother fighting any more.   

The worst thing is I generally don't have any friends and I don't mean the facebook or twitter kind, I mean the real kind who know you personally and are there for you.

A this point If I don't get any help soon I might do it.

Monotony Tuesday 9/4/12

I trying to do stuff but find myself unable to do some of the things I want and need to do. It just seems as if I just don’t have the emotional energy do it far too much. Between my health, financial, family worries it seems some days I’m in the middle of a dark storm.

technorati claim code

This is a quick post for the technorati claim code to register this blog to their site.

V7CUYZX6JT7Y

David